Category Archives: Life

A bucket list

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Have you seen the movie “The Bucket List”? Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson), the billionaire, and Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman), a smart scholarly mechanic, meet in a cancer ward and decide to compose a bucket list – things to do before they kick the bucket. They go off on their bucket list adventure jumping from planes, racing cars, gazing at pyramids, etc.

I watched the movie last year on DVD with my sisters during our sister vacation in Colorado. I don’t think any of us actually sat down and composed a list afterward, but we talked about it being a cool idea. We agreed that our whitewater rafting adventure was something we could cross off our imaginary lists. They (not me) also got their tattoos (not on my list), which was something they had talked about doing for several years, so they could cross that off their lists, too. Instead, I jumped off a bridge into the Poudre River and crossed that off my imaginary list!

Sometimes I think about composing my real bucket list. I wonder what I would put on it.

Here is what I’ve got so far:

  • I’d like to write a book AND have it published AND have it be number one on the NYT bestseller list.
  • I’d like to tour all seven continents. I’d like to spend a year in each one (other than Antarctica – several weeks would probably do it there).
  • Barring being able to do item listed above, I’d like to go to the UK and tour the countryside, see Stonehenge and kiss the Blarney Stone (after I wiped it off with sanitizer, of course).
  • I’d like to see Australia and New Zealand and scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef (without any fear of sharks).
  • I’d like to go to Greece or anywhere in the Mediterranean and drink Ouzo with the locals.
  • Closer to home, I’d like to go to Vancouver, British Columbia, New Orleans and Boston.
  • I’d like to swim with dolphins or whale sharks (gentle giants).
  • I’d like to start my own business doing something so enjoyable I don’t think of it as work.
  • I’d like to break the world record for longest roller skating.
  • I’d like to get a hole in one.
  • I’d like to learn Gaelic.
  • I’d like to take a ride in a hot air balloon.
  • I’d like to learn to ballroom dance.
  • I’d like to ride the Rollo Coaster at Idlewild Park with my sisters.

What I am discovering in creating a written list is that it is hard. There is a part of my brain that is telling me that if I put it to paper, I better get it all down or risk losing my chance of ever doing it. Which is silly, of course, because in reality our bucket lists are in our hearts, not written down and we check things off as we go through life.

So, dear people, what’s on your bucket lists that you haven’t already crossed off?

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A tribute to fathers

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“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”  – Mark Twain

I was going through my documents on the computer recently and found a collection of Father’s Day stories, poems and quotes. I must have been saving them for a newspaper article, but I don’t think I ever wrote it. I think it very appropriate with Father’s Day on Sunday to make a blog post out of it.

How it began:

Did you know that we have Sonora Dodd, of Washington, to credit for Father’s Day? She thought of the idea for Father’s Day while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909.

Sonora wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. Smart, who was a Civil War veteran and was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington state.

After Sonora became an adult she realized the selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora’s father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

President Calvin Coolidge, in 1924, supported the idea of a national Father’s Day. Then in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day. President Richard Nixon signed the law which finally made it permanent in 1972.

Here’s one by the late, great Erma Bombeck:

 When God Created Fathers

When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, “What kind of father is that? If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping.”

And God smiled and said, “Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?”

And when God made a father’s hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, “Do You know what You’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats.”

God smiled and said, “I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face.”

Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

The angel nearly had a heart attack. “Boy, this is the end of the week, all right,” she clucked. “Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?”

God smiled and said, “A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.”

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. “That’s not fair. Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?”

And God smiled and said, “They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll support a small child who wants to “ride a horse to Banbury Cross” or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill.”

God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.

Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, “Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?”

And the angel shutteth up!

And a poem by Helen Steiner Rice:

Fathers are Wonderful People

Fathers are wonderful people
Too little understood,
And we do not sing their praises
As often as we should…

For, somehow, Father seems to be
The man who pays the bills,
While Mother binds up little hurts
And nurses all our ills…

And Father struggles daily
To live up to “HIS IMAGE”
As protector and provider
And “hero or the scrimmage”…

And perhaps that is the reason
We sometimes get the notion,
That Fathers are not subject
To the thing we call emotion,

But if you look inside Dad’s heart,
Where no one else can see
You’ll find he’s sentimental
And as “soft” as he can be…

But he’s so busy every day
In the grueling race of life,
He leaves the sentimental stuff
To his partner and his wife…

But Fathers are just WONDERFUL
In a million different ways,
And they merit loving compliments
And accolade of praise,

For the only reason Dad aspires
To fortune and success
Is to make the family proud of him
And to bring them happiness…

And like OUR HEAVENLY FATHER,
He’s a guardian and a guide,
Someone that we can count on
To be ALWAYS ON OUR SIDE.

And, finally, because this is my blog, I’d like to put my message to my dad out in cyberspace. You never know, it may help him hear it!

“Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I miss you and think of you everyday! When I see you again, and after we are through with all our greetings, please make me some of your homemade peanut butter fudge. It’s the best in the world!”

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Millie’s Angel

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Millie's Angel

Millie's Angel

When I finished mulching the one section of my garden on Sunday, I put Millie’s Angel back in her place and thought about the role Millie played in my life.

You see, Millie’s Angel is a lawn ornament. She is a little concrete cherubim that was originally left in the flower garden of a home Brian and I bought in Ohio. The lawn ornament belonged to Millie and when she and Ted moved out of the house, she left the angel in the garden for us.

Ted and Millie were downsizing and purchased a smaller home in the same subdivision, so we saw them from time to time and became pretty good acquaintances. When we put our house on the market a few years later to move back to the south, we listed the house with Ted.

We wouldn’t know the role Millie would play in our lives until about this time.

Our 26 year marriage, for a ton of wrong reasons, was about to fall apart and the unlikeliest of angels came and rescued us. Job issues, family issues, marriage issues had finally taken their toll and we were going to sever a lifetime of being a couple and go our separate ways.

It was Millie that came to our rescue. She was the first guardian angel we had in our lives that we recognized as being such. And her actions actually caused a series of events to occur that brought us back together and made us remember what was most important to us – each other.

Millie came to our house on the morning I was to leave. I had the car loaded with my personal possessions and was ready to go. Millie would keep an eye on the house, water the plants and make sure everything looked fresh for potential buyers since Brian and I would separately be staying miles away.

Millie tried to talk me out of leaving. She tried to feed me some breakfast. She told me to get a few more hours sleep. She made us tea. I must have looked a wreck! She asked me to come and stay with her and Ted for a little while. She told me she would travel with me and fly home so I would not be driving by myself. She offered everything of herself that she could to ease my physical burden. She even gave me some money to make sure I would have enough for my trip and getting settled.

I was determined to go. I had no reason, no family and no desire to stay where I was any longer. So, Millie dawdled while receiving instructions on the house plants and the other house issues as I was getting more anxious to get some distance behind me.

But, had Millie not slowed my departure I would have been on the road much earlier and would not have received the call that changed everything for Brian and I. I smile about it even now, because I know her actions were intentional.

Millie also knew that our road back together would not be easy, so she gave us books to read to help us with our healing. She talked to us, individually and together in her quiet soft spoken way and helped us to soften our hearts towards each other. We learned that it is more important to be kind than to be right.

For all of you that remember the classic 1946 movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” Clarence helps George find his way back to his family. This was just like that. Millie helped us in the same ways that Clarence helped George. The only difference between this movie and our lives is that Clarence was an angel that was not of this world and our friend, Millie, is as human as you and I.

Yet, Millie is an angel, just like Clarence. She came into our lives when we needed her and then she was gone. She has helped others before us and helps people after us. It is just her nature.

Of course, when Brian and I left Ohio, together, as it should be, we took our lawn angel with us. We left some of our other possessions behind, but made room for her to come with us. She sat on our porch in Savannah, sat on our porch at Folly Beach and currently sits in my kitchen garden (protected from rain by the awning above).

We call this statue “Millie’s Angel.” She is our reminder of the greatest gift we ever received from another human being.  

In “It’s a Wonderful Life,” every time you hear a bell, an angel gets it wings. In real life, my life, every time, I look at Millie’s Angel, I am reminded that certain earthly angels have earned their wings.

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