Have you been watching any DIY TV lately? There is a series of “Crasher” shows on almost every day – Yard Crashers, Bath Crashers, Kitchen Crashers, you-name-it-crashers. The concept behind the shows is that an expert goes to a home improvement store looking for an unsuspecting do-it-yourselfer that is in need of a major home improvement. Once the expert finds someone to agree to a makeover, he follows him home, assesses the homeowner’s needs and the job’s requirements, comes back the next day with a crew and equipment and transforms either the dirt yard, small bath, old-fashioned kitchen, you-name-it, into a beautiful, functional place. I don’t watch any of these shows, except one – Yard Crashers with Ahmed Hassan.

I would love for Ahmed to come to my house and transform my front yard. I think my yard would make a very cool show!

Here’s why I think my yard makeover would be so very interesting for TV. First, Brian and I gave up corporate rat-race living about 10 years ago to live more simply. We found a very cute (and very small) fixer-upper house on over five acres in the country. We’ve spent those years trying to fix her up. We’ve gutted the bathroom, remodeled the screen porch and sun room, and removed seven layers of kitchen floor to expose the old hardwood. Since March, we’ve been working on the exterior of the house. We’ve replaced wood, front columns and all the windows. Brian has repaired stucco, prepped all the exterior walls and has just finished painting. This fall he plans on staining the concrete on the front porch and making window boxes for the front of the house to complete the country cottage look.

Second, with the weather finally cooling, we plan on working on yard projects once again. We have lots of overgrown brush to remove. And, there are still stumps throughout the yard that need dug out (remnants of Hurricane Hugo in 1989). We’ve got most of the southern yard problems right here in our yard – kudzu, overgrown wisteria, oak tree stumps, crab grass, weeds that have grown into trees, fire ant hills, you name it! Because of our proximity to the beach we have a lot of sand in our soil and we live in a swamp forest!

Third, our home is close to both Lake Marion (and South Carolina alligators) and close to Charleston full of history, old architecture and hidden gardens.

Fourth, of course, we do all of this work ouselves, with only an occassional helping hand from the poor unsuspecting friend that happens to show up at the wrong time!

Actually, my whole house and yard could be its own series of crashing. But, my real dream is a front yard makeover. 

Hey, Ahmed, we could definitely use your help here! See picture below.

This is our front yard from the road. All of the overgrown bushes need removed. Some type of natural noise barrier needs added to block the highway noise. And, of course, the rest of the front needs landscaped to look like an old English country garden.