Aging sucks

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Back in the ’60s when we were young kids,  most families shared a phone line with another household.  In our case,  it was with an old widowed woman who lived down the road.

There were seven people in our household and we had one non-mobile phone located in the livingroom.  It was difficult enough to get a turn to use the phone at my house with that many people living there, but what made it worse was sharing our line with the widowed woman.  You see, if she was using her telephone, we couldn’t use ours.  

Don’t ask me how this modern marvel of technology worked – both households had separate phone numbers, but both her phone number and our phone number shared a line. Get it?

If old lady battle-axe was using her telephone, and someone from my family, say me,  picked up the receiver to make a call while she was using her phone, I did not get a dialtone, but rather could hear her long boring conversation about whatever ailment was ailing her at the time and about all the ailments of whoever she was talking to, too. It was way too much personal information for a public telephone line, in my opinion, not that I was listening.

And, of course, we would have to wait until she finished before we could use the phone.  Sometimes, while one of us was having a conversation with one of our friends, we could hear her pick up her phone and after a minute or two or three, put it back in its cradle, occasionally rather loudly.  Usually after one or two pickups, she would interrupt our call to say, “Get off the phone, I have an important call to make.”  Well, she did that all the time, and as typical children, we ignored her.

Our shared party line existence got ugly. That old woman would wait until we got home home from school, when we would naturally want to use the phone to call the friends we had just been with all day, to use it herself and tie up the line. Sometimes, we would pick up the receiver and hear her in her kitchen preparing her dinner or in her living room watching her television, talking to no one on the phone, but keeping it off the hook so we couldn’t use it, keeping it available for her own use. 

Looking back now, I think she  must have hated sharing a phone line with us. From her perspective, I bet she thought we were rude little hellions. She’d have been right, I suppose.  

You know what else I’m thinking? That this was my life just a mere 40 years ago.  Ancient, depending on your perspective.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

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I was going to write about aging, but as I started banging on the keyboard, I realized that wasn’t my topic at all.  Why write about something that I really have absolutely no control over?  I can’t stop aging.  Tomorrow when I wake up, I will be one day older than I am today.  And, you will, too.  Next year, on this exact date, I will be one year older than I am today.  So will you.  We can’t stop time.  Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It can be a struggle coping with our aging processes.  We read health books and diet books and newspapers and magazines that give us advice on how to live longer and healthier.  We want to age gracefully, and beautifully.  We want to keep our agility and our teeth! 

We’d like to eat whatever we want whenever we want.  We’d like not to worry about the fat content or sugar content or salt content of our foods or if the portion size is bigger than a matchbook.  We want to keep our blood pressure down, our cholesterol down, our gout at bay, our diabetes in check, our hearts healthy, our brains alert. 

We take vitamins promising to help the bodies that we neglect.  As a nation, we spend millions a year on over-the counter remedies, doctor visits, prescription drugs, workout club memberships, home exercise equipment, books and videos to help us beat the aging process.

But, don’t worry. Be happy.

My advice? Take Mark Twain’s advice!

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
- Mark Twain

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